There Are No Bad Bosses?

This is one of those articles for you who feel like you are dragging yourselves to work on Monday morning. In most working environments, there is usually a group of complainers. They drag themselves out of bed every day, go to work begrudgingly and find every opportunity possible, be it lunch break, tea breaks, etc., to complain about the company and their bosses, and sometimes, even their co-workers. They talk about how their hard work is not being appreciated, or how one particular colleague is a constant brownnoser etc. Does this sound familiar?

I call such complainers “Us Against The World” people. They seemingly believe that they can do no wrong while other people around them, especially “the management” are the biggest idiots in the world. These people emit so much negativity that it is like a black hole sucking whatever little ounces of motivation you have for work. It is always very easy to sit back and criticize others and be supported by a group of like-minded people. This generally creates a self-reinforcing vicious cycle until one day, some of these people can’t take it anymore and decide to leave the company.  A few months back, I shared a bunch of stories about staying positive in a negative environment. Perhaps it is worth a re-read. 

But today, as the title suggest, is about managing bosses. I must again reiterate the awesomeness of Penelope Trunk's blog. Her article here talks about how to manage your relationship with your boss to make your working environment a lot more conducive for learning:

I could have spent my time complaining. There was a lot to complain about. Instead I always approached him with empathy (“I'm sorry she dumped you”), and I always knew my boundaries (“We can't fire her. It's illegal”). Even when he was at his worst, I never took what he said personally (“When you are done yelling, I'd be happy to talk to you”).

Aside from cutting a deal, he didn't have a lot of management skills, and this gap left more room for me to shine. My solid interpersonal skills helped fill in what he was missing and helped me to get what I wanted: A (reluctant and difficult but ultimately) very useful mentor.

So take another look at the boss you call bad. Think about what motivates him: What is he scared about that you can make easier? What is he lacking that you can compensate for? What does he wish you would do that you don't? Once you start managing this relationship more skillfully, you will be able to get more from your boss in terms of coaching and support: You'll be able to tip the scales from the bad boss side to the learning opportunity side.

In fact, you should always hope for a little incompetence on your boss's part. The hole in his list of talents provides a place for you to shine. The point, after all, is for you to shine, and no one shines when they're complaining.

Volume 4 Issue 11: Intelligent Investing

Quarter-Life Crisis

Speaking to numerous people, I realize that this is a very little known phenomenon in my part of the world. I had no idea that there was such a thing as a quarter-life crisis until I met my good friend Kate, who was also one of the key people who gave me the opportunity to attend Bucknell University.

When she first explained it to me, I gave the same reaction every one else now gives me when I bring it up. An initial chuckle, followed by a smile that says, "Indulge me", as if the next few sentences that we were about to hear would be absurd and utter nonsense. I have briefly mentioned the quarter-life crisis before (here and here), but I never really talked about what it really is.

The link I gave above puts it quite accurately. Here it is again, with some extract:

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. 

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. 

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

Kate told me that she had wished someone had explained this to her when she was around my age back then. We had this conversation back in 2008, during my final year at Bucknell. I was also in the midst of transitioning from college, and wandering aimlessly into adulthood, which is better known in these parts of the world as "the working life".

Now, five years later and two-cents wiser, I think I am in a better position to connect the dots, as Steve Jobs would put it. To many of us, it is many of his innovations like the iPod, iPhone or iPad that changed our lives. To me, it is none of that. I don't find any of those products any more revolutionary than the next portable electronic device. To say that smartphones would not have been invented if not for Steve Jobs would be committing a non sequitur fallacy.

To me, Steve changed my life with "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish". It was the core motivating factor that helped me get past my quarter-life crisis.

So, in connecting the dots five difficult years later, I still don't see a paradigm shift.

And my only regret was that I had not discover this blog sooner:
Penelope Trunk

An even bigger regret is that I did not share it sooner. It is quite safe to say that it is one of my all-time favorite reads. Here are some potentially life-altering highlights:

Living Up To Your Potential
How To Know What To Look For
Co-Workers Change Your Life
Stop Thinking You'll Get By On Your High IQ
Career Change Looks Like Halloween

Initially, I had intended to summarize each post but then I just read through all of them and I realized that it would be a great injustice to each and every one of the posts and more importantly, an even greater injustice to all the readers who would have just read the summary and skipped the posts entirely.

So I have decided to meet you halfway and leave the rest to you. Good luck on your quarter-life crisis.